New Years Eve

I wanna get dressed up in a Marchesa ball gown and drink expensive sweet bubbly champagne on the way to a party and have the party in a gilded ball room and dance with a beautiful boy with a British accent, I want him to tell me pretty things all night and at midnight I want him to kiss me, I want to listen to classy music and just be somewhere beautiful filled with beautiful people. 

I don't want to lie to my parents about where I'm going because its in a sketchy area of town and drink cheap vodka and cheaper beer and sit in a room that reeks of weed and cigarettes. I don't want to want to be around the girl I dislike the most in my highschool. I don't want to listen to rap and I don't want to watch everyone else have a good time while I'm trying my best not to appear miserable. 

This is why this New Year's Eve, I'm staying in all by myself. 

It's like I'm finally awake, and you're just a beautiful mistake.

Struggling

A month or two ago I made up my mind and decided that I was done with being sad and lonely and depressed and I was going to put in some effort to be happy. I was doing pretty good until recently when some stuff went down :( Now I'm really struggling to keep this sadness from turning into depression. But, at least I'm trying this time, that's a big step. I don't know if pushing these feelings aside will help or hurt but all I know is that's what I need to do right now. Honestly, I scared to slip under again, it's the last thing I want. Hey, a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor! And judging by airline prices I'm going to need to learn how to sail to get from Overhere to Overthere ;) xx

Lonely Alice

Do you ever feel like even though you have close friends that you love, that you don't really have somebody who is 100% completely there for you? The question you have to ask yourself is if it was 2 a.m. and you were crying and the whole world was crashing down around you, who would you call? More importantly, who would answer that call? I realized not only did I not have anyone to call, but I'm not sure anyone would call me. Pretty depressing, Loneliness stings. oh well, I've got my sights set on Overthere anyways. xx

Lost

So I'm considering this sort of a journal thing... the only reason I'm making this blog is because I'm on Adderall and have nothing else to do.. so why not make a blog!? Well, I did. I'm Alice and I'm stuck Overhere when I would much rather be Overthere. I'm a junior in high school, and this is just something for me to do, hopefully it'll be fun. xx